Contagion 2020

[Del-icious]

Going to need to phone in tomorrow and see what the script is if you're living with someone who's self isolating

Might get a wee day off in all the confusion and panic

[PHOODLE-OUt]

Work shy cunt

[Mikey]

My mum has got chronic asthma and ends up with pneumonia if she gets the flu or that. Works as a receptionist. Wish she'd just patch it for a bit.

[PHOODLE-OUt]

Shit, will my weedy asthma be an issue

[Pete Seeger]

My wee niece has lots of problems with her heart and will need different operations as she grows. Not fussed about my granny or that as they've lived their life but I hadn't realised how serious this was for pretty much everyone until about 5 minutes ago.

[Mikey]

Probably more the fact that you're 84 years of age.

[Pete Seeger]

Shit, will my weedy asthma be an issue

[Jeff Resnick]

Arteta tests positive for coronavirus.

[CritchSmile]

How many people do they think will get this in Britain over the coming months? We talking low thousands or Spanish flu?

Angela Merkel has forecasted up to 58 million people to get it in Germany

[Floyd]

Arteta tests positive for coronavirus.

Budge or Levein next please.

[Shteve]

This is pish man honestly can't be arsed with it like.

[Big Physical Acey]

If only Jez had held out on a general election until 2021; the Tory vote would be wiped out.

Indy 2021 though

[Picards Forehead]

Angela Merkel has forecasted up to 58 million people to get it in Germany

And 2% of them are for it?

[Zizou]

Professor John Ashton is slaughtering the government on Question Time.

[2MatoFish]

All the pubs in belgium have been ordered closed.

I get that we're trying a different track in the UK, but the sum of our efforts are still little more than 'wash your hands'. I mean, all the pubs in belgium. They like a beer.

[Kashinda]

80% to get it, with a 2% mortality. That's the last I'd heard were the expectations.

A million deaths in the UK?

[Sarkozabal]

If only Jez had held out on a general election until 2021; the Tory vote would be wiped out.

Indy 2021 though

You're forgetting that posh cunts all live well into their 80s or beyond so they'll be well equipped to deal with it. Compare that to your Yes-vlting Glasgow council estates where everyone over about 45 will get wiped out by it.

[Sarkozabal]

They were saying 1% mortality on the news I heard earlier but tbf it was caveated that you couldn't really tell what the figure would be in the UK.

[Roger H. Sterling]

Even 0.5% would be shocking with an 80% infection rate.

[Felix]

Hudson-Odoi positive as well.