Barry Ferguson - Cereal Child Abuser

[2MatoFish]

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/footb...ow-9788375

"So there I was at Morrisons the other day, looking for a box of Shreddies Max. I can't find them and I'm starting to get agitated, walking up and down the cereal aisle, face like thunder. This woman walks up and asks if I need a hand. She kindly helps me out and points me in the right direction. So I thank her very much and put them in my shopping trolley. The next thing I see these three teenage boys laughing at me. One of them shouts something I can't repeat in the pages of a family newspaper and I respond by saying something along the lines of 'Wee man, I'll wrap this trolley around your heid and knock you into those f***** Frosties over there!'"

[Zizou]

My mate had a group of school kids at M and D's once and they saw Ferguson. Started giving him the usual light hearted stick, he got out of his car and squared up to them all

Absalute Roaster.

[2MatoFish]

Why is he angry at not finding Shreddies? Why does he threaten the kids?

Why does he think the above means he can then lecture current players on not handling abuse well?

[Roger H. Sterling]

Imagine getting angry at your own inability to find something where's that anger even directed?

[Gigolo-Aunt]

[Dam Son]

That's a great story he's told, really interesting stuff

[PHOODLE-OUt]

Spastic

[Zizou]

Five minutes later I'm at the yogurt fridge. Raging. And I'm looking around to see where they've gone.

Archie Knox? I had bad dreams about this guy. I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my bed soaking. I wasn't sure if I was sweating in my sleep or if I'd actually wet myself.

[Drederick Shanktum]

I don't mind ferguson at all

He's a simpleton though.

[Shuto Makino]

Love the idea of him being so raging at some kids in the cereal aisle that he lost all awareness of his surroundings for five minutes, during which time they disappeared and he somehow made it to the yogurt fridge. Would not be surprised if he imagined this entire incident.

[Ray Winstone]

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/footb...ow-9788375

"So there I was at Morrisons the other day, looking for a box of Shreddies Max. I can't find them and I'm starting to get agitated, walking up and down the cereal aisle, face like thunder. This woman walks up and asks if I need a hand. She kindly helps me out and points me in the right direction. So I thank her very much and put them in my shopping trolley. The next thing I see these three teenage boys laughing at me. One of them shouts something I can't repeat in the pages of a family newspaper and I respond by saying something along the lines of 'Wee man, I'll wrap this trolley around your heid and knock you into those f***** Frosties over there!'"

'Needless to say, I had the last laugh'

[Yorkie]

Is it any wonder Scottish football is seen has such a joke, the old firm simpletons lap this shit up on a daily basis.

Imagine Iniesta spouting off in the Spanish press about loosing his shit at a bunch of kids in a supermarket.

[Big Physical Acey]

I don't quite understand how he thinks he's making the point of "You need to be mentally tough to get used to being an OF player in Glasgow" by telling an anecdote about how some kids reduced him to a seething mess at Morrisons.  

[Shuto Makino]

It's the small details of the story that make me laugh every time I look at it, like him needing to specify that he was looking for Shreddies Max in particular and using the phrase 'I'll knock you into those fucking Frosties over there'. In an ideal world, Barry Ferguson would have a daily slot on Radio Scotland where he told a wee anecdote from his life and finished up with a thought for the day.

[Hank Scorpio]

Having to get help finding a cereal in the cereal aisle

I'd just imagine Barrie McKay reading that anecdote and feeling pumped up afterwards

[pondlife]

tbf the cereal aisle is simply a mass of colour that seems to bleed together a la one large Monet; well, probably when you're jaked on Thunderbird. Or, am I giving Will Kellogg's marketing minions too much credit.

Still no excuse for losing your Fruit Loops over some pimpled, trackie-clad chavs.

[PHOODLE-OUt]

The reality probably was that threat was in his head and had he said it out loud, the 14yo neds would have melted him up and down the aisle.

[Drederick Shanktum]

Wee Barry and wags vs demolition with crush summerslam 88