Fives

[Walter Sobchak]

With the chat about fives on the other thread, thought it was worth a thread. It's great, but there are some amount of cretins that play. The same types reappear in every game as well, especially in long running games where you end up with a revolving cast from a pool of players.

Absolute worst is the guy who berates everyone else for a misplaced pass, shooting but not scoring, losing a man or not tracking back etc. He always loses his man, misses wildly optimistic shots from distance and doesn't track back, usually standing at other end of the pitch and shouting at the rest of the team for not marking. Absolute NAP to have a Man U shirt as well. On paper should be a good player as can beat a man, finish, but always on losing side. Hated by everyone. Basically what it must be like playing with Mikey Stewart.

The guy who hangs about the football centre hoping for a game with randoms who are a player down. Fair play for putting crippling social anxiety to the side and just hanging out on their own asking people if they need a player. Had one boy who played a game with us in a pair of sheux.

[Big Physical Acey]

Had a good game last night. The new pitches at Peffermill are really good.

The guy who slide tackles. Things got a bit heated last week because a guy was putting in proper professional fouls - kicking at folk's ankles if they went past him. He's probably the most talented player in our regular group, but everyone hates it when he plays.

[Pete Seeger]

There's always someone's kid hanging about hoping someone doesn't show. Absolute game ruiner when someone thinks it's appropriate to let their laddie play because he's decent at under 12 level

[Charlie Kelly]

Not played 5s in years because every time I play I roll my ankle and end up hobbling about for the week :

[Herzog]

The cunt that goes in with the knee and ruptures your thigh.

[Walter Sobchak]

The guy who slide tackles.

Aye, what is that all about.

[Zizou]

The boys who think it's a World Cup final are by far the worst. Followed by the huddy who makes up the numbers but is too shite and ruins the game (acey)

[Groot]

Had a good game last night. The new pitches at Peffermill are really good.

The guy who slide tackles. Things got a bit heated last week because a guy was putting in proper professional fouls - kicking at folk's ankles if they went past him. He's probably the most talented player in our regular group, but everyone hates it when he plays.

I've got a small scar on my left ankle from a cunt at work who always liked to go in with the studs showing

Not played in a few years (which coincides with my weight gain!) and used to have a couple of games a week but my knees can't take it anymore, I'll hold my hands up I could be a bit of a moany bastard on occasions, always a bit heated between Benoit and I

[Floyd]

The boys who think it's a World Cup final are by far the worst. Followed by the huddy who makes up the numbers but is too shite and ruins the game (acey)

A boy that was in my team last week chinned me for laughing with a boy in the other team, and asked if I thought it was all a big joke, after our keeper threw the ball out, hit one of their players on the back and it went in.

Bearing in mind we were 6 goals up at the time, I thought it a bit OTT.

Also used to play with a guy who loved getting the ball, beating his man and then would end up in a corner and then try to score from an acute angle rather than cutting it back or passing.

The boys that love a slide tackle or a complete emptying when you are clean through are my pet hates though, absolute scum the lot of them!

Edit: playing fives tonight with some boys from work for the first time in a while, will be interesting to see how it pans out, as last time I played one of the boys from finance set about a boy on the other teams pal, for leaving the boot in.

[CritchSmile]

Those who have never played 'ra game ( ) who instead of making standing tackles cleanly with their body weight they go in aggressive but their body far away and try and win the ball using flying legs and elbows that rattle off your shins and ribcage. Sometimes they'll catch you in the cheekbone or nose.

If you have no coordination or control over your body, don't go in thinking your #Keano16

[Big Physical Acey]

Followed by the huddy who makes up the numbers but is too shite and ruins the game (acey)

I run the game m8

[Del-icious]

TH 5s

[Shteve]

I'm actually playing tonight, tomorrow morning, Thursday and Friday night this week I don't take it serious at all tbh, probably to the annoyance of a lot of people but I just see it as a kick about so try to score rakes from miles out and open the old bag of tricks on occasion.

[PHOODLE-OUt]

The cunt that turns up with his trackies tucked in to his socks

[Big Physical Acey]

TH 5s

I retract what I said about slide tackles and professional fouls if TH 5s happens.

[Papin]

The cunt that turns up with his trackies tucked in to his socks

Is that not your work outfit? Minus the parka obviously.

[Snake Plissken]

I enjoy my weekly game on a Sunday evening, all the oddballs in town from across the world assemble to play something which vaguely resembles football.

There's an American guy who turns up most weeks who seems to think he's one of the 'senior' players, shouts a lot of nonsense at people and usually falls out with someone at least every other game. He's pish as well, no first touch whatsoever and does this weird stamping thing when he closes someone down which makes it really easy to just glide past him.

You ever get a player who does something genuinely great one minute and then looks like he's never seen a football in his life the next? One of our regulars is just like that, last Sunday saw him score a really good header and then miss an open goal from two yards out in the space of a minute. The most inconsistent player I've ever seen in my life and it's not week to week but minute to minute.

The guy who runs with the ball no matter what - a guy from Morocco dribbles no matter where he is on the pitch and he's not especially good at it, I've bagged a few goals just robbing him in his own box. Others will try to beat a man when simple passes are on.

The selfish cunt - never tracks back and shoots when an easy pass is on. Last week we were closing out a game and there was only one goal in it, they broke away with two players and one guy elected to shoot from a silly angle when his teammate had ran the full length of the pitch to support him after two hours in ridiculous humidity.

[Walter Sobchak]

Aye the boy who always shoots. Also the guy who pretends it's not his turn to go in goals.

My shooting has been woeful all my life the last few weeks. Missing absolute sitters. Still, I'm making the runs and getting into the positions.*

*connorsammon.txt

[Sterling Archer]

Glasgow 5's through KB is how I met most of the TH people I know.

[The Great Khali]

TH 5s is a must

Aye World Cup final slideymcghees are the worst.

I actually told a boy to shut the fuck up a few weeks ago. He was just Just running about screaming and getting all angry because we were getting beat. Like proper ott FUCK OOOOOOFFFFFs. Bairns playing on the pitch next to us too