Lawson shaming his imaginary pupils in front of the whole class for talking quietly, what a horrible bastard

Just to reply in a bit more detail to the points made before, him and a couple of others have been behaving in a low-level disruptive way in class for a few weeks now and I have tried to deal with it in a more humorous way only to be met with curled lips. The last thing you want in an oral class that needs motivated students who're enjoying themselves is to come across as overly strict, and if anything at times I was too lenient to start out with. I've exaggerated how much I dislike this class for effect on here, but the behaviour of a small number is encouraging a few others not to contribute and at some point you have to stop acting like their mate: I haven't had problems with any other class, and this one is being made a pain in the arse by 2-3 individuals.

There've been a couple of comments about how able students don't always need to do the same amount of work as others. That's definitely not the case for this guy. Quite apart from his English, which is about average, I can spot several grammatical errors in his French in that e-mail.

(11-17-2015, 01:57 AM)shaun.lawson Wrote: This. Humour preferably.

I had a student who was very talented but lacked confidence... so much so that she spoke really quietly. So one day, I asked her a question, she answered, and I said "I can't hear you Ludmilla". Then I took several paces backwards, and asked her again. "I can't hear you Ludmilla". Then I asked her again and walked out of the classroom. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU LUDMILLA". They were all laughing by now - which relaxed her, and things got much better over the next few classes.

And I had another student, a Turkish girl called Fatma, who did exactly what your student did. And she did it more than once. But I also had a mobile phone, with a talking alarm clock. "It's time to get up, the time is SEVEN THIRTY".

So I sat at my desk, got my phone out, and reset the clock to one minute later. Then I walked up to her and said "Fatma, there's someone who wants to talk to you". BANG! Alarm clock goes off at that moment - "it's time to get up, the time is TEN FORTY" - everyone cracked up, and suitably chastened, she never did it again.

NB. Of course it depends on the dynamic of a particular class, and on what works with one student or another. I'd never have done that to Fatma if a) I hadn't thought she'd see the funny side or b) I'd intuited there was any more serious reason for her laziness (which there can frequently be). In terms of your student, it depends: how did you tell him off? By lecturing him, or...?

Ludmilla

Shaun is taking the piss with these imaginary stories now.

Taking the piss or not, I don't ever want them to stop.

Can we get a list of all these names in Shaun's tales please

(11-17-2015, 09:21 AM)Alan Partridge Wrote: Can we get a list of all these names in Shaun's tales please

So far we have:

Benedicte
Faisal
Ludmilla
Fatma

No doubt if you went back and found scaredofnanny.txt or wenttoapartythenleft.txt they would be full of made up names as well

Does it hurt when the local anaesthetic wears off after the first stage of root canal treatment? Asking for a mate.

(11-17-2015, 09:28 AM)Makween Wrote: Does it hurt when the local anaesthetic wears off after the first stage of root canal treatment?  Asking for a mate.

Hope all those minutes you saved by not brushing were worth it.

Clearly a reference to the underwhelming follow up to the Booker prize winning 'Vernon God Little', Shaun has channelled DBC Pierre's 'Ludmilla's Broken English'. You see all he has is oblique literary references.

Guys, it's a cry for help. Shaun is broken. And you can do is mock him. Well, me and my pal Ja'Crispy are here for you, lshaun. -

(11-17-2015, 09:28 AM)Picards Forehead Wrote: So far we have:

Benedicte
Faisal
Ludmilla
Fatma

No doubt if you went back and found scaredofnanny.txt or wenttoapartythenleft.txt they would be full of made up names as well

Jon from the IRA as well.

(11-17-2015, 09:43 AM)Alan Partridge Wrote: Jon from the IRA as well.

`

Outstanding stuff when you see a post start with

"Well, I had this talented student, older than the others, quite attractive in her own, curious way, and knowingly distant. Adeline was her name..."

(11-17-2015, 12:08 PM)Walter Sobchak Wrote: `

Outstanding stuff when you see a post start with

"Well, I had this talented student, older than the others, quite attractive in her own, curious way, and knowingly distant. Adeline was her name..."

(11-17-2015, 12:08 PM)Walter Sobchak Wrote: `

Outstanding stuff when you see a post start with

"Well, I had this talented student, older than the others, quite attractive in her own, curious way, and knowingly distant. Adeline was her name..."

I honestly can't tell if you've written that or plucked it straight from a shaun.txt.

(11-17-2015, 12:08 PM)Walter Sobchak Wrote: `

Outstanding stuff when you see a post start with

"Well, I had this talented student, older than the others, quite attractive in her own, curious way, and knowingly distant. Adeline was her name..."

It's like a Daily Mail headline generator.

I can imagine that Shaun's erotic fiction would be a big seller among a certain kind of academic.

Lawson and his Mittyesque adventures.

The IRA one is a topper

(11-17-2015, 01:29 PM)Walter Sobchak Wrote: I can imagine that Shaun's erotic fiction would be a big seller among a certain kind of academic.

Probably the world's leading English-language expert on academic erotica.