Christian Borchgrevink

[Giza Brek]

The V(aler)enga boy.

[King Kebab]

Slug and Norwegian 2nd tier.
I'm writing him off already.

[Diego Armando Toblerone]

I was reading one of those VL in depth analysis threads about him and he’s meant to be a slug but has a very good cross. 

I thought pace would’ve been one of the first traits we need but I think he’ll be good. A steady Eddie.

I read the piece on the Hearts Standard and it said he wasn’t rapid but wasn’t slow either, tends to play like Penrice in that he’ll play the pass and go forward looking for a return to then cross it in.

The article also showed his stats compared to Tavernier at Rangers and they weren’t far away at all, so a similar style of player.

For what it’s worth, I want rapid wingers and forward players, someone being quick at the back is a bonus, but it’s about his positional sense as a defender that’ll see him alright in this league.

He can’t be worse than the shite we’ve put up with recently, that’s for certain.

[Mikey]

Another boy that runs like he's had a Borched vasectomy

[Crocodile Busan]

If getting a competent full back means he's a wee bit slower it's a price I'm happy to pay after the dross we've been saddled with

[Widespread Gang Violence]

At this point, I assume Hertz assess trialists with a bleep test whereby only those eliminated at an early stage will be considered for signing.

[Konnichiwa You Cunt]

This guy’s coming from the league below Yan Sander is he?

[1500 Dollars a Day]

No point in looking into him now, every season we look at our new signings and think we’re going to stroll third and win the cup

Shite standard to come from though imo but that’s going to be the JA game.

[CritchSmile]

See that Mitoma was a uni student Brighton plucked from naewhere. How come we can't get another one of those? Why we getting fuckers like Kartum, Steinbender and Borcherkeoroviierjkihjink?

[Widespread Gang Violence]

Mitoma was a non-entity. Why are we signing non-entities

[Cammo Toe 2]

Would like to know if we've a player here or not.

Can't believe he's as bad as Derek's no pick treatment all season long.

27 should be at his peak.

[Crocodile Busan]

I thought he looked good at the start of the season when he got a game before his injury. Fuck knows what he did to deserve the disrespect he did following that.

[Grooto Toure]

Had a good game in the 1-1 Killie game at Tynecastle and was off the park when the equaliser went in

[1500 Dollars a Day]

Was the arthritis chat nonsense then? That seemed to be what most were saying but I don’t see how you’d pass a medical in that case.

Think that was pre uncle tone gutting of the medical dept right enough

[The Fez Reich]

Deserves a run in the team. 

We all know it’s because he’s not 6 foot.,

[CritchSmile]

Has done absolutely nothing wrong in a Hearts shirt and I look forward to seeing him next season.

Would be just his luck to have Altena as his rival for the position and we hire a Dutch coach though

[Imaq]

Why we getting fuckers like Kartum, Steinbender and Borcherkeoroviierjkihjink?

Has done absolutely nothing wrong in a Hearts shirt and I look forward to seeing him next season.

[Mikey]

Don't think Del thought he had the motor. Be good in a team that plays football.

[Cammo Toe 2]

Deserves a run in the team. 

We all know it’s because he’s not 6 foot.,

You know me with heights.

Both Wikipedia and Transfermarkt confirm he is actually 6ft0.

[Cammo Toe 2]

Although not the fastest.

He's summarised as a combative RB who excels in his 121s, strong defender who has huge energy for getting up and down and has great delivery from wide.

Also strong leadership qualities. 

Dunno. Haven't seen enough in the flesh.

But just wonder if we've a player here. New manager all that.