We've got an old boy that's appeared from nowhere that we can't get shot of and I swear I'm going to two foot lunge the prick if he keeps on trying to tell everyone else what to do then give us a row when things don't come off. Old prick can't even break out of a jog but wants to slaughter anyone that doesn't give him the ball every single time. Genuinely infuriating.

Back to the old soccer at the weekend. 3 goals and a nutmeg.

Back is fucked though. 27 years old man

Couple of women showed up to yesterday's game and they were beyond pish  

Actually squealing any time anyone came near them, constantly giving the ball away under zero pressure, and both were completely knackered after about 20 minutes. Plus all the white knights pulling out of tackles with them and falling over themselves to shower to merest touch with praise, so fucking patronising  

Fit?

Mixed 5-a-sides

In a mixed league aswell. 8 a side with a minimum of 3 girls on the pitch at all times. Also because im out in spain there are lots of yanks aswell. Its a weird mix of decent players and people who have never kicked a football.

A wee Irish guy was throwing oranges at the ref after the game

(10-22-2018, 09:38 AM)Tim Sherwood Wrote: In a mixed league aswell. 8 a side with a minimum of 3 girls on the pitch at all times. Also because im out in spain there are lots of yanks aswell. Its a weird mix of decent players and people who have never kicked a football.

A wee Irish guy was throwing oranges at the ref after the game

That the one by the university pitches by metropolitano? My burd used to organise them

(10-22-2018, 09:52 AM)Dr. Colossus Wrote: That the one by the university pitches by metropolitano? My burd used to organise them

Aye. Its a good set up.

(10-22-2018, 09:06 AM)TheSitzpinkler Wrote: Fit?

Not in the slightest, in both senses of the word  

Not that would find their shiteness any less aggravating if they were easier on the eye. There's an American lass who sometimes shows up who can actually play a bit, but the two that turned up couldn't kick a ball. Mixed is no bother if the girls are decent players, it's horrific if they're not. Even a shite male player can at least compete physically, bad female players can't do anything of value. It's like having a child on the pitch.

I don't know how I can comment on this without sounding like Lewis but fuck playing fives with girls.

I'd play with bursds if they were reasonable, some of the guys I play with are shite.

(10-22-2018, 09:38 AM)Tim Sherwood Wrote: Its a weird mix of decent players and people who have never kicked a football.

Was it exclusively decent players before you got involved?

Was playing fives tonight with a boy who was trying to get us to zonal mark.

It's fives mate, not elevens.

Needless to say we got absolutely rode. Lost by 5 goals in the end, but I think the other team took pity on us as the clock ticked down.

ridiculous. Everybody knows that marking at 5s is just one guy shouting “man each, stay on your man”, and then everyone losing their runners immediately.

Zonal marking I don't do anything but skin folk and batter in goals, no interest in running about daft tracking cunts and that

Lewis is the guy in the full kit who thinks he's Messi but is actually shite

(04-04-2019, 06:55 PM)Acey Ann Oberman Wrote: ridiculous. Everybody knows that marking at 5s is just one guy shouting “man each, stay on your man”, and then everyone losing their runners immediately.

Exactly this! It happens every single week in every single match, yet he thinks that we should be doing zonal marking.

Funniest part of the night was when one of the boys in our team lost the rag and leathered the ball at him from in goals, missed him by an inch and hit one of the opposition walking back towards their goal on the back of the head.

Couple of weeks ago we had 6 (us -runners) on 5 (ballers) and moanie cunt says "Who've you got" (twice)as I'm standing at the D.  We're all irritated as fuck as we're generally getting leathered all game.  I says "don't worry about it I've got the middle".  He snipes something back so I I'm "We've a fucking extra man you idiot!"  Didn't come back last week.  

(04-04-2019, 07:23 PM)Levein-Stupid Wrote: Lewis is the guy in the full kit who thinks he's Messi but is actually shite

  Nailed it.

Shinnies on but socks at the ankles infact just found a picture of me from last year.